New Orgeans

New Orleans: Where supply meets demand...

LegAllegory - Generalizations About Lawyers

Oh - you want to see sin for what it really is? There's a two-and-half-day legal conference in New Orleans, the third day of which starts early Saturday morning. Check that out.

Ass-cuse Me, Is It Drafty In Here?

This guy right here. 

We get it. Your pants say, "I reject the values of mainstream society" but your drink says, "I yearn for the summer days of my youth." 

You're like an onion. So many layers. Except over your ass. Not nearly enough layers there. 

Femmortal Kombat

The primary treatment for period rage (medically, pre-menstrual disorder) is keeping a diary. Noted. 

"Hey babe, will you please pass me my @*&$@^*$#*&&# HATE JOURNAL BEFORE I RIP YOUR BALLS OFF? I'm having an episode and I need to document it."

Resolution Loopholes

This year I'm going to go to the gym more, as long as no one minds that I eat pie and drink beer while on the treadmill.  

P.S. I totally creeped on this poor girl who was carrying her cream soda around the gym. And then I judged her for walking at 3.3 mph on the treadmill so she could text. I don't even feel badly about it - stupid youth and their high metabolisms.