Sleep Deprivation Imagination

This is what happens on long drives through Missouri...

Cartoon brought to you by the remote sleeve in my hotel room and fewer than six hours of sleep

God Bless Ye Merry Gentleman...

The First NyQuil the doctor did say

Will cause you to trip balls

in bed where you lay...

Hello From The Other Side...

...of this conference room wall.

If you can hear me banging my head on the table, please send help margaritas. 

The Squeaks of Wrath

Where's Terry Tate when you need him?

Squeak squeak squee squee squeeeeaakkk [[PILEDRIVER]]. 

Ahhhh, much better. Now please continue beating [insert issue] to death while we're all 

trapped in this room. 

Oh, right...'tis the season of thankfulness. HOORAY GRAVY WEEK!

The Pen Is Mightier

than the do not disturb sign. 

Sszchal9ervaacndseklsdcaSKI. Yep, That's Me.

Oh thank GOD, after 17 minutes, I think the reservation is set. 

Oh, you want to try and pronounce it? Be my guest. 

My Hempstrings Are Sore

"But plants don't have muscles." Pipe down over there.

Silent Protest

I bet if Isaac Newton had been eating an apple while he explained his theory on gravity, his audience would only have been able to hear the LOUD CRUNCHING and we'd still be dumbfounded about why things fall out of the sky. 

CompliaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHnce

HALP. I've started to dream about it. 

This Meeting Is Still In Progress

Sorry I can't make dinner. My 9 am meeting has run 8 hours over its allotted time. Again.

I'm Too Tired To Think Of A Title

I'll be the person face down in the sand at the Soggy Dollar Bar

Ah Ah Ah Ah Flayin' Alive...

Don't toy with my deadlines.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw_Ej0HkPCs

Camareaderie

I wish book club meant that you could have drinks with the book characters. But only the cool ones. No one wants to have drinks with you, Draco.

Cloud NEIN

FWUMPH. 

You Can't Makeup This Stuff

Definitely putting "office makeup specialist" on my resume. "Capable of showing discretion" - not so much. 

Icon't Even

This ranks right up there with unsynced traffic lights.

Error: Entry Not Found

Arrive at Walley World, wake up to a full inbox, whatever. 

BLERGH

I Flush the Rains

Also, let's take a moment to remember this. 

This Is Why Wine Exists

rarararararararararararararararararar

Burning Love

Happy Valentines Day

For those needing assistance...

I'm not a doctor, but burning love could be a sign that you need to consult your physician. Jussayin'...

Erin Shamwowski

If I don't have legs, then I can't wear pants. If I can't wear pants, they can't be on fire. ERGO, I'm not a liar. So there.